kardashiane:

so i was trying to google that scene in pirates of the caribbean where jack and will are walking underwater with the rowboat over their heads cause it looks cool and i wanna try it

but the thing is i googled “boat scene in pirates of the caribbean”

drwilfredcokepepper:

ghost-anus:

the best pranks are the super harmless ones

like why would you pull someones pants down in public or like put them in danger or humiliate them when you can just baffle them by leaving tiny plastic camels all over their house or taping bill cosby’s face over every single face in  every picture in their house?

Last year the seniors had a mariachi band follow the principle for 3 hours

  • me: im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
  • me: gets in bed
  • me: how was earth created
  • me: who made microwaves
  • me: how does the internet even work
  • me: i'm hungry
  • me: feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
  • me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
  • me: too tired to sleep

deadlydinos:

Once I was walking home with some law school friends and they were like ”Why are you walking up that street your street is like three more streets up”

"Yeah but there’s a house on this street and sometimes their golden retriever naps in the sun on the sidewalk and I like to give him belly rubs"

Now all the law students walk up belly rub lane because law school is stressful and dogs rock

ghost-of-augustus-waters:

Just passed a group of bros in the parking lot. They were all wearing snapbacks and muscle shirts. As I passed I heard their conversation. The one bro was arguing, “Naw man, Dumbledore was a terrible caretaker, he literally sent kids into fucking death forest for detention. Messed up man.”